Sometimes I Forget

Sometimes I forget just how blessed I really am.  Being able to hear is my normal now, which is an incredible gift...but I never want to take it for granted.  The past few weeks have been REALLY stressful for me, with a LOT going on in my life that is very unpleasant and it looks like things are going to get a lot worse before they better.  It's so easy to dwell on the negatives and the stress and wonder why God doesn't just intervene.  Then TWICE in the last week, I went to parties with big groups of total strangers and enjoyed it.  That is amazing!  God is so good and has blessed beyond my wildest dreams.  Two years ago, I had never even heard of the Esteem.  I was very much a loner who only wanted to be around a few select people because it was safe.  I could never have imagined willingly subjecting myself to big groups of strangers much less having fun in that situation.  Really, y'all, that was my worst nightmare before.  At one of the parties this week, I hardly saw the ONE person I actually knew before the party.  While I would love to have spent more time with people who are dear to me, it brings me to tears to think that I was able to go into a room of total strangers and be comfortable introducing myself and making small talk.  Small talk is a BIG DEAL when you're deaf.  It's so hard to talk to people and try to figure out new speech patterns and accents.  Then last night, I was comfortable being the center of attention a few times.  REALLY!  God is so good and He leads us.  I need to remember that now, when things don't seem so rosy and sunshiny.  He IS faithful, He HAS blessed and He will continue to do so!

Latest and Greatest

This is loooong overdue, but I went for a follow-up audiogram/Esteem testing back in August and got excellent results!!!  I was very, very nervous that I would need a revision surgery to remove scar tissue because of the feedback I was getting at higher volume levels.  Thankfully, the sensor and driver are both working extremely well and there is no evidence of scar tissue!  I was also anxious to see my tympanogram.  For some reason, my right ear did not heal well and my tympanogram (movement of the ear drum) was flat for months.  As of August, it was still reduced, but not flat.  A flat tymp means that the eardrum is not moving at all.  A reduced tymp means that it's moving some, but not like it should.  Even with a reduced tymp, however, my hearing results were INCREDIBLE!!!!  On the pure tone test (the "beep" test), I was at normal levels through 2000Hz  - amazing.  My left ear, which healed quickly and easily, is not testing as well now, mostly due to a program change.  In order to reduce the feedback in the right ear, the audiologist changed my main program.  It's very complicated and technical (though if you are an Esteem patient and want the details, email me), but I'm not hearing quite as well in my left ear now.  The trade-off is that I don't get constant whistling in my right ear, so it's definitely worth it. 

Pure tone (beep) testing is great and all, but what I really care about is understanding speech.  Normal conversation is about 50 decibels.  With my hearing aids, I could hear ZERO words at 50 dB in my left ear and about 60% in my right.  Not great.  Remember, those numbers are in a soundproof booth as well...not real life, especially for a teacher.  Now, at 50 dB, I can understand 88% of words in my left ear and 92% in my right.  That is nothing short of amazing.  If you look at the graph below, the pickle shape is where speech sounds fall.  In my right ear, I'm getting most of them now.  I still miss /s/ and /th/ and a few others, but it's an INCREDIBLE improvement over my pre-implant levels, as you can see.  God is so faithful.