Pictures (Beware! These are NOT pretty!)

My bracelet the morning of surgery

Before surgery - I was surprisingly calm

Dr. Shohet had to mark the ear that was being implanted.  I asked for a flower instead of an X. :)

Happy juice!!!!!  The anesthesiologist was great!

They were wheeling me off to surgery here.  Obviously, the happy juice was working. :)

Immediately after I woke up.  This was NOT fun.

Just for Mike. HAHA!

Leaving the surgery center.  I felt MUCH better than I looked here.

These beautiful flowers were waiting for me in the hotel room!  Thank you Dianne, Tasha, and Isaac!! :)

It was really sunny and my sunglasses didn't fit over the helmet.  Mom thought this was hilarious.:)

My neck hurt REALLY bad from the way it was positioned during surgery.  Mom and I went to get a body bean.  It helped a lot!

The first night, I took half a Vicodin and the antibiotic.  The antibiotic (Keflex) is HUGE and makes me sick.

This is the helmet/ear bubble/ear cup.  It was miserable and awful.  I couldn't wait to get it off!  As soon as Dr. Shohet removed it, the pain went way.

The morning after surgery, Mom and I went to Trader Joe's.  I felt GREAT!

Daddy wanted a picture of me by this ear.  He actually wanted me to "pull the finger" but I wouldn't.  I was SO ready to get that helmet off at this point!

Dr. Shohet removed the helmet and cleaned the incision site.  This was about 24 hrs after surgery.

Dr. Shohet - LOVE HIM!

This is from this morning, two days after surgery.  I can't believe how much better it looked here!

This is out of order for some reason, but this was when we got to the surgery center the morning of surgery.  I was really calm...and not allowed to wear makeup. :)

I was DESPERATE to have my hair washed.  There was blood and glue and surgical cement in it - YUCK!  Dr. Shohet said to wait 5 days OR have someone else do a sink wash.  Chelsea was so sweet and agreed to help!

This picture is from tonight, around 6:30. 

My face is pretty swollen here, but there's no pain from the incision or in the ear.  My neck is still sore and my jaw feels REALLY tight, but otherwise, I'm doing great!

Flowers! :)

On the Road Again

Last night wasn't too fun. It is REALLY hard to sleep with the ear bubble! I took half a Vicodin and half a phenegren but was still pretty wired. Advil has been better than the narcotics because it helps with the swelling! The worst thing today has been the worst sore throat of my life!! The breathing tube definitely left a mark.

Once I got up today, I got to take a shower. That felt amazing!! Then, Mom and I went on a Krispy Kreme search but it had closed down. :(. I was dying for coffee or tea for my throat but it took a loooooong time to find anywhere that serves coffee. After that, my throat felt better and we went to Trader Joes (yes, I wore the helmet in public). I feel pretty good!!

I saw Dr. Shohet around noon and he took off the helmet - yaaaaayyyyyy!!!! I've had NO pain since then. I even forgot to take advil! He cleaned the wound and made sure there were no side effects. Taste disturbance and facial paralysis are common but I have neither. :). He said the numbers were "excellent!" Apparently he had a hard time fitting the device because my malleus is very small. The three bones in the middle ear are the smallest in the body and they are crucial in this device! Thankfully, he was able to cement the driver and sensor to the incus and stapes (the other bones in the middle ear) and everything looks great!

Activation is set for May 29!!

Surgery Day

I am now the proud owner of an Envoy Estrem! I want to make sure to get everything in writing before I forget the details. :) Long story short: everything went well and I feel great!!

I was way too excited to sleep last night so I tossed and turned all might. :) We left for the surgery center at 6:00 and they started prepping me about 6:30. The nurse was great! Surprisingly enough, I was pretty calm. My BP was 119/74, high for me but not for surgery nerves. I was ready to go by 7:00 and my parents came back to wait with me. The anesthesiologist (Chris) was wonderful and put all of us at ease. He also had a Starbucks cup in his hand -CRUEL! Dr. Shohet was running late and it was a looooong wait. Finally, he got there at about 7:40 and I got my happy juice and life was good. :) I remember them wheeling me into the room and thinking, "This looks just like Grey's!"

I woke up in the recovery room at 12:40. Thr surgery ended about noon. Dr. Shohet waa so thoughtful to put my hearing aid in mu other ear before i woke up. My first thought was to look at the clock and see if the surgery had been long enough to be successful. It had! I asked the nurse if everything went ok and it had. Then Dr. Shohet came to tell me everything was great but I don't remember what he said. Then I asked for apple juice and went back to sleep. See, I pass out very easily and was afraid of that. I was in and out for a little while but woke up for good around 1. It hurt quite a bit at that point so the nurse gave me half a Percocet. They had given me the maximum dose of anti nausea mess via IV and I had the patch on as well. I had a little scare and almost passes out but the anesthesiologist heard me calling for the nurse and three cold towels all over me. :) I sipped lots of juice after that.

The nurse went to get my parents about 2:00. By then I felt really good and was sitting up. My throat hurt a lot from the breathing tube so I wasn't keen on talking (for the first time ever quite possibly!). The helmet/ear bubble/cup thingy hurt quite a bit too so the nurse gave me the other half of the Percocet. Then I felt great! Fortunately, I was not sick at all! We left the surgery center about 2:30 and stopped to get a hot tea for my throat. We came to the hotel and I realized my neck was killing me. During surgery, they pushed my neck to the side for hours mints still sore. Mom and I went to Brookstone to get a body bean, which is helping. Since then I've been back at the hotel re,axing. I've been taking Advil but plan on taking Vicodin for the night. I feel really good with just a little soreness. :)

Tomorrow I see Dr. Shohet at 11:30 to get this stupid helmet taken off!:) So far, the surgery and recovery have not been nearly as bad as I expected! The best part was when Daddy asked me if Dr. Shohet told me how the device is working. I told him no and he reported that, "the numbers all looked good" when they tested it. That means it will work once it's activated!

I'm documenting all of this for my own records but also for others who are considering getting the Esteeem. It was very helpful for me to read accounts from others and also to see pictures. My parents took pictures of everything and I will post the, when I get home. I look atrocious in all of them but I hope to be encouraging to someone else having the surgery. :) Despite knowing that the implant is cemented in my head, this still feels very surreal. I'm overwhelmed by God's goodness!!

On the Road

I'm typing this on my phone from the car. My parents and I are headed toward Newport Beach, where my surgery will take place. I thought reality would hit once we took off, but it hasn't. I'm just in awe - amazed that this is possible, thrilled to be able to experience this and grateful to the God who makes it possible.

The emotional roller coaster has been quite a ride over the last few months. Six months ago, I had never heard of the Esteem and thought I'd wear hearing aids the rest of my life. And that was fine. :). But this is better - much better.

I've always been told that deafness is more than just not hearing; it's a part of your identity. I never bought it and still don't completely, but I understand that view somewhat now. This is a HUGE life change for me. It's so much more than being able to hear high frequency sounds. It means 24/7 hearing and being able to swim with other people, go camping(although I'm
not anxious to try that out!), not feel lost in a crowd and, most of all, relax when I'm around people. I'm not a social person at all. I enjoy being with friends...but not in big groups or unfamiliar settings. I assumed that was just my personality but now that I'm in touch with other Esteem recipients, I'm finding it's really a "deaf thing." One of the most exciting (and terrifying) aspects of this whole process is that I will really find out how much I'm affected by hearing loss.

Some friends reminded me of Jesus healing the blind man with "miracle mud." Christ's disciples asked why the man was born blind. His answer is striking:

Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. (John 9:3 ESV)

I can't recall ever asking why I was born deaf. Seriously y'all, I'm blessed. But I do pray that the works of God will be displayed in me. :)

Prayer

One of the best parts about the past few months is realizing how much people really do care about me! :)  Of course, the Esteem is unbelievably exciting to me but it's heartwarming to see that people in my life are excited as well!  Thank you SO MUCH for caring about this and sharing in my joy. :) 

This feels very selfish, but I'm going to post it anyway. :)  The Esteem surgery is minor and outpatient, but it is very delicate.  The bones of the middle ear are the smallest in the entire body!  They are called the ossicular chain -- the stapes, incus and malleus.  Implant surgery requires separating (breaking) the incus and stapes bones.  Needless to say this is tedious!  I'm not worried about the surgery at all, but it is quite long.  As such, I have a few very specific prayer requests:


1) First and foremost, please pray that Dr. Shohet is able to accurately place the device and that it works.  The Esteem will not be activated for 8 weeks after surgery, but it will be turned on and tested during surgery.  Please pray that it works. :)

2)  I have never had real surgery before, but when I had my wisdom teeth pulled, I was sick for several days.  Please pray that I won't be nauseated. 

3) Please pray for my parents.  Waiting during surgery is stressful and they will have a long wait.

Again, THANK YOU for caring about this and being so supportive!  I am thankful for such loving people in my life!

The Plan

Surgery day is almost here!!  I would definitely appreciate your prayers!  I'll post specific prayer needs later, but here's a general overview of this week: The surgery center is Newport Plaza Surgery Center in Costa Mesa, about 4 hours from Visalia.  Right now, my parents and I are planning to head down there around 3 or 4 on Wednesday afternoon.  We'll get to the hotel and I'll put on the anti-nausea patch and fall asleep (I hope!) :)  Shockingly, I'm not nervous at all right now, but by then, I'm sure it will hit me.  Surgery is at 7:30 on Thursday morning.  I have to be at the surgery center by 6:30. 

The surgery is minor,but delicate, so it should take between 4-6 hours.  Fortunately, I'll be blissfully unaware. :)  After surgery, I have to stay in recovery for 1-2 hours, then we'll head back to the hotel.  Easy peasy, right?  :)

I can't believe this is really happening.  Having been deaf from birth, this is a HUGE life change for me, one that I never thought would happen.  Honestly, being deaf is so normal for me, it's a little bit scary to imagine what life is like hearing.  I've been so blessed to be able to function like a hearing person despite a severe hearing loss and I never want to seem ungrateful for that.  Hearing aids have been priceless for me because they've allowed me to live life.  If the Esteem were not an option, I would still be so fortunate.  It's easy to focus on the negative aspect of being deaf now that my life is about to change dramatically, but the truth is, I'm blessed.  I never realized how severe my hearing loss really is until the testing for the Esteem.  Despite that very severe loss, I'm rarely limited.  That is a blessing.  And it only gets better from here. :)

Audiogram and Predictions

Short post tonight! Shocking, I know. :). This is a picture of my audiogram from 12/19/11. This is the "beep test." The dots on the graph show the softest sound I can hear 50% of the time at each frequency (PTA) when I am in a soundproof booth. The bottom line shows my unaided hearing, the middle line, my scores with hearing aids and the top, approximately what they should be with the Esteem. Three of those frequencies are in the normal range! Pretty incredible. :)