Back to myself

My right Esteen sound processor was implanted again last Thursday. It has been far more painful than any of my other surgeries but I am so thankful to be able to hear again! Recovery has been challenging this time and I actually took the pain meds, so this post is long overdue. :)

Surgery day was pretty calm. I was a nervous wreck. I had flown in from OKC at 11:30 the night before and was pretty tired, too. My sweet friends kept my phone lit up with messages all morning, which helps a ton!! I even heard from Julie and Amy at Envoy. How sweet is that??

The anesthesiologist was a gentleman I had never met before. I thought he seemed pretty serious until I noticed a hammer sticking out of his pocket and asked about it. Turns out it was just a pen but after that, we all lightened up a little bit. :) 

This surgery was at Dr. Shohet's new surgery center. Of course, everything was too notch, as I've come to expect from anything relating to his practice.  It was very nice being the only patient having surgery that day. I begged Dr. Shohet to use sedation instead of general anesthesia but he would not agree. My mom finds it hilarious that he told me, "You are very influential, you know?" They all know me after 5 surgeries. :) I HATE anesthesia. In fact, I hate it even more after this surgery. 

Apparently, Dr. Shohet came in to talk to me but I don't remember that at all. When I woke up and was alert, I asked the nurse if things went well and she kept telling me she thought so. This nurse was wonderful but that was horrifying. I needed to know for sure! I asked her to get Dr. Shohet but he was gone. I even asked them to call him haha. It was very scary. Eventually, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me more details. I started crying as soon as he told me everything was working well. He actually got tissues and wiped my eyes for me. That was so sweet. 

My mom tells me I woke up MEAN and was yelling at everybody. I don't remember that at all, but am very embarrassed. That's another reason for me to hate anesthesia. I do remember everyone being very sweet. Even the ladies from the regular office (not surgery center) came in to check on me. That was so nice! They brought me coffee, too, and so did mom. Michiko blinged out my ear bubble, too. Isn't it adorable??

Dr. Shohet turned on and programmed the Esteem in surgery so I could hear when I woke up. The ear bubble precluded me from hearing much, but I could hear my own voice and a lot of screechy feedback. I DO remember freaking out at that point. Everyone went into motion, getting my remote and making arrangements for me to see Sam (my audiologist) that afternoon. Robert, the Envoy tech who was in surgery, didn't know how to fix it, so they thought I should see Sam.  It still amazes me how caring the entire practice is. 

Mom and I were planning on driving home immediately, but we had to kill time to make the audiology appointment. Fortunately, I felt GREAT!!!! It was like the huge burden I'd been carrying for 4 1/2 months was gone. I felt like myself again. Two of my friends actually commented that they could tell I was back to normal just from pictures that day. Mom and I went to the beach and got food. It was a nice afternoon. Mom was surprised that I was hearing better even with the bubble. 

Of course, seeing Sam is always fun. Seriously, I really like her. I love that I feel more like a friend than a patient AND she's great at her job. I LOVED it when she pointed out that I was communicating better already. She did a tymp and it was almost normal. Apparently the bubble was causing the feedback. I saw Dr. Shohet briefly. It was nice to hear him say that everything went well. 

Recovery has been difficult this time. I didn't sleep well that first night and the pain got pretty bad. Friday and Saturday were AWFUL  I couldn't move at all without excruciating pain. The pain meds didn't control it at all. I texted Dr. Shohet's nurse and got the OK to add ibuprofen. That made it bearable. I actually fell asleep sitting straight up because I couldn't move. Mom said I was moaning and grimacing all night. I had never had pain like that with the other surgeries. I actually rested for an entire week this time. I am the worst patient ever and have never rested for as long as the drs recommend. This time, I had to. It was pretty painful and consisted of a whole lot of this...

It's been a week now and I'm still not back to normal (physically). I'm sleepy and still have pain. The great thing is that it doesn't matter. :) I can hear again!! I'm not trapped in that horrible isolated state. I had to go to target today and was able to understand the cashiers. I can hear the dog's collar jingling when he comes down the stairs. I hear the doorbell and my phone and so many other sounds I've missed. Most importantly, I can communicate again. I feel like me! I'm so thankful for this miracle!

Summer Fun and a Surgery Date!

Summer is in full spring around here!! My precious "niece" and "nephew" are here for 2 1/2 weeks and we are making the most of very minute! It's very, VERY frustrating that I can't hear them as well as we became accustomed to. For instance, I can't understand them in the car when I'm driving and they are adjusting to getting my attention and looking at me when they talk. We are still having a blast though! This is my third post-Esteem summer and the joy of being in the water and hearing is still new to me. I love being able to play. We are spending lots of time in the pool.  At Disneyland, the kids and I got to play at the splash pad. We rode Splash Mountain...and no one had to cover my ears!

My mom, dad and I took the kiddos to Disneyland for a few days and had a great time!!  I was worried about the noise bothering me but it wasn't too bad. The worst part was when Brynna and I rode Tower of Terror by ourselves. It's tough to depend on a 5-year-old to tell you what's going on...especially when she's quite imaginative. :) Overall, it was a fantastic trip!

While we were in Southern California, I went to see the amazing Dr. Shohet. It's seriously so nice to walk into the office and be greeted by name. I've never felt so welcomed in a doctor's office! Gavyn was quite disappointed that Dr. Shohet was not going to cut my head open that day because he wanted to watch. Brynna, on the other hand, was relieved to meet him and find out that he is nice even though "chopping people's heads open is NOT nice!" I was thrilled that they got to meet him. They don't understand what an impact he has made on their lives...

So the big news is that I am having surgery to replace the sound processor July 24 or 25! Shockingly, I'm terrified. The surgery will be a bit more complicated than I had anticipated and I will be under general anesthesia. I HATE general anesthesia. I'm catatonic for 10 days after every surgery, the breathing tube hurts my throat and I tend to get sick and/or pass out. Plus, this will be a different anesthesiologist than I've had for all the other surgeries. I loved him! The worst part, though, is waking up. See, I'm really nervous this time. I know it's very possible that there will be complications and I won't be able to hear. Waking up and not knowing how things went is terrifying. I'm dreading that so much. Last time, even though the result of the surgery was devastating, I felt much better just knowing what was going on the whole time. Of course, my surgeon is wonderful and he will tell me everything I want to know when I wake up, but I won't be coherent enough to understand. Knowing that had made me VERY scared instead of excited. The day after the appointment, I cried most of the day. If all goes well, I'll be able to hear immediately, but I won't know it because of the wonderful ear bubble. Fun times!

Obviously, being able to hear again is worth whatever it takes...but I am really bummed right now. :-( The past few months have been so challenging that it's tough to be optimistic. 

Progress

On Monday, I drove down to Newport Beach to have my left Esteem adjusted. Back in May, Envoy's West Coast audiologist recommended that I try having it reprogrammed with some new software they'd developed. I wasn't keen on the idea at first because I really didn't want to mess up the one working ear I still have, but I decided to try it since Gavyn and Brynna are coming to visit and I can't stand the thought of missing out on precious interaction with them!  I'm going to see Dr. Shohet next week, so I figured that the settings could always be changed back then if I don't like them. 

I know I rave about Shohet Ear Associates all the time, but I love that practice more every time I visit!  I've been seeing Sam, one of their newer audiologists and she is FANTASTIC!!! She  knows what she's doing with the Esteem and is not afraid to deviate from the norm to get better results. More importantly, she's VERY relational. For me, that's the most important. I actually enjoy going in for appointments with her. She's been so sweet and supportive via email even though I've been a train wreck the entire time she's known me. On Monday, she was the only doctor in the office, so she, MaryKay and I visited a lot. It's a rare blessing to have that kind of a relationship with medical professionals. I am so very thankful!

I LOVE the new settings! Sam knew I was very apprehensive so she only completely redid one setting (each Esteem has 3 settings: A, B, C, and multiple volume levels within the settings). When I had two good ears, I never changed settings but with one, I have to change things frequently. Background noise and road noise are killer. Previously, we had thought that my left Esteem was maxed out. My pre-implant hearing was at the low end of the range of hearing loss that the Esteem treats so I can't get as much volume as I would like in that ear. It's still much better than a hearing aid in volume and quality, though. However, Sam was somehow able to add 10 dB more volume in all 3 programs!!! It's making a HUGE difference! In fact, after the appointment, I went to the beach and could understand conversation over the roar of the waves. Then I went to play pool and could understand the music in the background. That's a big change!!! I don't feel quite so isolated or like I'm in a bubble. It's definite progress!!!:)

Next week, I'll see Dr. Shohet to find out about when we can get my right Esteem working again. I can't wait to feel normal again!! Until then, though, there is a lot of fun to be had with Gavyn and Brynna and VBS coming up!:)

I love having an excuse to visit the beach often :)

16 weeks post surgery