Three Weeks!

I can't believe it's already been three weeks since surgery! I feel great! When the weather is bad, I can feel pressure in my ear but other than that, I'm 100% back to normal. The 3 week mark is a big deal because heavy lifting (ha!) and blowing my nose are allowed now. Y'all don't realize how difficult it is to not blow your nose for 3 weeks. I was also told to avoid sneezing if possible...and it's spring in the Valley!:). Fortunately, it hasn't been bad. I only sneezed twice the whole 3 weeks. It scared me the first time - lol!!

Everyone asks me if I'm excited about activation. I am, definitely, but I'm also scared. I know being able to hear well and all the time will be wonderful but being deaf is all I know. I'm not a fan of change in general so the idea freaks me out. I'm SO thankful for this opportunity and feel so unworthy and just in awe of what God is doing...but it's overwhelming, too. The surgery was a lot less frightening. I knew what to expect. Activation is different, though. Everyone has a different experience. Some people have those great super emotional "I love this already!" activations but a lot of people hate it at first. See, hearing with hearing aids is nothing like normal hearing. What I hear all the time is what you hear through speakers. Of course, I don't know any different so it doesn't bother me, but this will be a HUGE adjustment.

Just to illustrate what being deaf is like...one morning last week, I was getting ready for work, so I had turned on an oscillating fan and my hair dryer. I got ready and unplugged them both, then I flushed the toilet. When I put my hearing aid in, I heard a noise and was sure it was the blow dryer. I checked and it wasn't. Then I checked the fan...not that either. It was the sound of water running in the toilet. I can't distinguish those sounds. They're all alike to me.

I don't say any of this to complain. I've been so blessed and hearing the difference between a blow dryer, fan and toilet is not exactly important. :). The Esteem is miraculous, though, and in order to show how life changing it is, I have to try and describe what hearing with hearing aids is like. The apostle Paul was afflicted with a "thorn of the flesh" that most people believe was vision loss. He said, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV. That's my prayer, that God will be glorified through this. It is ONLY possible through the power of Christ and I am so humbled that He is demonstrating His power through me.

Recovery pics, day 21:

Photo collage

It's been 2 1/2 weeks now.  I feel normal!  Honestly, if it weren't for being able to feel the device in my head, I wouldn't notice anything different.  The incision isn't even noticable now and my neck is back to its normal pasty white. :)  I made a collage of pictures from the first 2 weeks. It's disgusting, I know, but I want it all documented. :)  I'm also posting a picture of my audiogram.  Normal hearing is from 0-20 decibels. As you can see, I am nowhere near that.  I never told people how severe my hearing loss is before the Esteem because I didn't want to sound whiny.  Yes, my hearing is *really* bad, but I'm very fortunate to have the hearing that I do!!

Two Weeks

I can't believe it's been two weeks since surgery! The first week was kinda rough, I have to admit. Going back to work wasnt fun, but if I had taken a week off, it probably would have been fine. This week has been great! I've had a BUSY week at work plus something to do every night but I feel great! I have energy again and I'm not in pain (unless a tall guy side hugs me and crushes my skull *coughMATTcough*). I don't notice the device all the time but I feel pressure. It feels like I have my sunglasses on top of my head.

I'm in awe. This still feels like a dream. Every time my fingers touch the Esteem, I'm reminded of this amazing gift. It is unreal that 2 years ago, I had a conversation with a friend about how I was sure there wouldn't be any new "fix" for hearing loss in my lifetime and now, not only is it available, it's inside me. :)

2 week incision/bruising pics below. Is my surgeon incredible or what?!?!

9 days after surgery

I feel great today!! I finally slept well and woke up energized. :). I also washed, dried and straightened my hair. That might not seem like a big deal but it was painful when I tried that earlier this week! Today, it didn't hurt at all!:) I'm amazed how well the incision is healing!

Back to Normal (for now!)

I finally feel like myself today!! The recovery from surgery has been very easy overall. It's nothing when you consider what I'm gaining. I do want to be completely open, though, because I know a few people who are considering getting the Esteem or who have upcoming surgeries reading this. It helped me to know what to expect! After surgery...

*My throat hurt. I had no idea it would hurt that bad. Apparently, the anesthesiologist puts the breathing tube in the throat for 4 hours with NO lubrication whatsoever. It hurt. A lot.

*You have to wait a long time for "happy juice." I thought they would give it to me as soon as I got to the surgery center, but noooo...they had to wait on the doctor to get there. It was worth the wait, though. :)

*My allergies improved. Seriously. I was not expecting this at all, but I'm super glad! I usually have horrible seasonal allergies but in the week since surgery, I haven't had any problems. I was told to expect them to be worse and my doctor wrote a few prescriptions but I'm breathing easier than I have in a loooong time! :)

*Bruising - oh my gosh. I knew my neck would be sore because of the way they have to position the head during surgery, but I had no idea I'd look like I'd been strangled. Fortunately, I find it funny. :) About 3 days after surgery, yellow bruises showed up all along my neck, from my ear to my collarbone. There was also some bruising around the ear itself. It is UGLY!

*No incision pain! I thought the incision would be sore, but it hasn't been at all. It's also not nearly as disgusting as I expected, though Brynna thinks my "ouchie" is "ucky!" :)

*The implant feels WEIRD. I know it's really very small, but it seems a lot bigger now that it's in my skull. :) I'll attach some pictures, but it's a flat, roundish device. Feeling it on my head is one of the creepiest things I've ever experienced. Anytime I brush my hair back, I touch it and get weirded out. :) Even more than that, though, is the feeling in my head. Until today, I felt it constantly. It hurt at first, but then it was just a constant pressure sensation. It felt like my skull was being crushed and the skin was stretching. I guess both of those are kinda true. :) On Easter, my brother's girlfriend wanted to feel the implant, but when she did, she screamed, "Oh my gosh, you have a giant lump on your head!" Hilarious moment! It's definitely an odd feeling. It's also wonderful because every time I touch it, I remember what a miracle this is!

*The sensation in my ear is odd, too. My outer ear is numb and will be for a long time. My ear canal feels strange, though. It kinda feels like I have a hearing in it, even though I do not. :) Also, ears get COLD. You don't know that when you wear hearing aids!

*Swallowing felt weird. You know that feeling when you're in the mountains and your ears are full of fluid? It was kinda like that. Every time I swallowed, the fluid moved around and it was a little painful and very weird. Today, I don't notice that at all.

*People are so nice when you're going to have surgery! :) I'm not gonna lie, all the sweet comments from people have been fantastic. (Narcissistic much, right??) :)

*Washing my hair is difficult. Obviously, it's hard to wash the incision site because it hurts to touch it, but I didn't realize how much the shape of my head would change. Seriously, y'all, it feels so foreign now! I actually have to think about how to wash my hair!

*I am tired. I don't know if it's lingering anesthesia or my body recovering from the surgery or just going back to work, but I am so so tired. I had a lot more energy today...and then it rained. At school. Know what's more exhausting than surgery? Teaching kindergarten when they don't get recess.

*It's still not real. I know that my whole world is going to change in 7 weeks. It's terrifying and exciting all at once. You would think that, with this giant lump on my head, everything would seem real, but it doesn't. All my life, I've worn hearing aids and all my life, I've been told I always would. That was fine. :) This whole journey is amazing in so many ways and I'm so thankful that God has brought me here...but it still seems like a dream sometimes.

*Sleep is impossible. I can usually sleep on either side, but with the implant, I can only sleep on my right side (not left side or back) or the pressure hurts. Of course, now that I can't sleep on my right side, that's all I want to do. :) Lack of sleep is probably the real reason I'm so tired.

*It hurt. The Envoy website says that patients experience pressure and not pain. That's a lie. But I'd rather experience the pain for months than go for one day without hearing aids. If you wear hearing aids, you understand that. Going without them is HORRIBLE. I'd rather go through the surgery and recovery many many times than deal with one day without hearing.


I feel really good today, a week later. I'm still tired but I don't "feel" the implant all.day.long. like I did before. I can bend over and swallow and chew normally now. I'm still bruised but really not in pain at all. I feel normal. But normal is about to change big time. :)

Monday night

Tuesday

Wednesday - the incision is healing and my neck is turning black :)

• Thursday morning.  At least I look tough! :)

Healing

It's been 5 days since surgery and I feel great!! The incision site is tender and it hurts if I touch the skin over the implant, but there is no pain in my ear or neck or jaw now.  I can feel the fluid moving in the middle ear and there's a sense of occlusion (like something is in the ear canal), but there's no pain.  My outer ear is still numb and may stay that way for months.  As you can see, my neck is turning into a nice big bruise!  It's weird, though.  I kept telling my mom it felt like my neck and jaw were bruised but we couldn't see a bruise.  Then last night, I realized my neck felt better then saw the color. :)  Maybe the muscle was bruised?  I don't know.  I'm really shocked at how quickly I'm healing!  A man on the Esteem Facebook group posted pictures of his actual procedure (ick!) and I feel tough for going through that ha!  Let me know if you want to see pictures.  I'll find some.  :)  As soon as I saw how much of the skull was exposed, I realized exactly why my muscles were so sore!

This is basically another photo dump page for anyone who is considering getting an Esteem.  The surgery is pretty invasive, but the recovery has not been bad!  Knowing what to expect helped me tremendously before my surgery and I hope my experience can help someone else!

Sunday night, 3 days after surgery

Monday - 4 days after surgery
The yellow is a bruise.  My fingers are outlining the actual implant, which I can feel anytime I touch my head!

These are from Easter Sunday.  Note a few things: The swelling isn't totally obvious, but I couldn't smile normally. :)  And look at my shoes: Clearly, I was doing well to walk in those. :)

I washed my hair tonight (YAY!!!) and this pic is just to show that you cannot see the outline of the implant when my hair is covering it.  My hand is outlining it again.

   

Pictures (Beware! These are NOT pretty!)

My bracelet the morning of surgery

Before surgery - I was surprisingly calm

Dr. Shohet had to mark the ear that was being implanted.  I asked for a flower instead of an X. :)

Happy juice!!!!!  The anesthesiologist was great!

They were wheeling me off to surgery here.  Obviously, the happy juice was working. :)

Immediately after I woke up.  This was NOT fun.

Just for Mike. HAHA!

Leaving the surgery center.  I felt MUCH better than I looked here.

These beautiful flowers were waiting for me in the hotel room!  Thank you Dianne, Tasha, and Isaac!! :)

It was really sunny and my sunglasses didn't fit over the helmet.  Mom thought this was hilarious.:)

My neck hurt REALLY bad from the way it was positioned during surgery.  Mom and I went to get a body bean.  It helped a lot!

The first night, I took half a Vicodin and the antibiotic.  The antibiotic (Keflex) is HUGE and makes me sick.

This is the helmet/ear bubble/ear cup.  It was miserable and awful.  I couldn't wait to get it off!  As soon as Dr. Shohet removed it, the pain went way.

The morning after surgery, Mom and I went to Trader Joe's.  I felt GREAT!

Daddy wanted a picture of me by this ear.  He actually wanted me to "pull the finger" but I wouldn't.  I was SO ready to get that helmet off at this point!

Dr. Shohet removed the helmet and cleaned the incision site.  This was about 24 hrs after surgery.

Dr. Shohet - LOVE HIM!

This is from this morning, two days after surgery.  I can't believe how much better it looked here!

This is out of order for some reason, but this was when we got to the surgery center the morning of surgery.  I was really calm...and not allowed to wear makeup. :)

I was DESPERATE to have my hair washed.  There was blood and glue and surgical cement in it - YUCK!  Dr. Shohet said to wait 5 days OR have someone else do a sink wash.  Chelsea was so sweet and agreed to help!

This picture is from tonight, around 6:30. 

My face is pretty swollen here, but there's no pain from the incision or in the ear.  My neck is still sore and my jaw feels REALLY tight, but otherwise, I'm doing great!

Flowers! :)