On the Road

I'm typing this on my phone from the car. My parents and I are headed toward Newport Beach, where my surgery will take place. I thought reality would hit once we took off, but it hasn't. I'm just in awe - amazed that this is possible, thrilled to be able to experience this and grateful to the God who makes it possible.

The emotional roller coaster has been quite a ride over the last few months. Six months ago, I had never heard of the Esteem and thought I'd wear hearing aids the rest of my life. And that was fine. :). But this is better - much better.

I've always been told that deafness is more than just not hearing; it's a part of your identity. I never bought it and still don't completely, but I understand that view somewhat now. This is a HUGE life change for me. It's so much more than being able to hear high frequency sounds. It means 24/7 hearing and being able to swim with other people, go camping(although I'm
not anxious to try that out!), not feel lost in a crowd and, most of all, relax when I'm around people. I'm not a social person at all. I enjoy being with friends...but not in big groups or unfamiliar settings. I assumed that was just my personality but now that I'm in touch with other Esteem recipients, I'm finding it's really a "deaf thing." One of the most exciting (and terrifying) aspects of this whole process is that I will really find out how much I'm affected by hearing loss.

Some friends reminded me of Jesus healing the blind man with "miracle mud." Christ's disciples asked why the man was born blind. His answer is striking:

Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. (John 9:3 ESV)

I can't recall ever asking why I was born deaf. Seriously y'all, I'm blessed. But I do pray that the works of God will be displayed in me. :)