Thanksgiving

This year has been...challenging. Ok, it's been hell. To be given the incredible gift of hearing and a new life that I loved just to have it ripped away with no warning for 5 long months was awful. I can't adequately explain what that did to me or the pain it caused, but trust me when I say that I would rather be dead than experience that again. It was terrible.

Now it's over. Life is back to normal and I couldn't possibly be more grateful. When I look back over everything that happened this year, I cringe when I remember how awful it was and how poorly I handled things. The pain is still very real, BUT the gratitude I feel overwhelms every bit of pain. It's difficult to type this because my eyes fill with tears when I think about how blessed I am! I never dreamed there would be a solution for hearing loss in my lifetime or that I would benefit from one if it became available. I never thought I could be easy going or social or fun to be around. I never knew hearing loss kept me from being myself. So I am thankful....

That I am NOT stuck in a lonely and isolated world. I can be me now! Life is enjoyable!

That my bosses and coworkers  are supportive and have been patient during all of the struggles this last year. 

For precious students who, despite their own struggles with disabilities, are intrigued by this whole process and aren't afraid to question what is happening. 

For my family taking care of me after every surgery and when I was an emotional wreck. They've had to rearrange their schedules to drive me to appointments and surgeries and take care of me so much this year but they don't complain. 

For friends who tried to be supportive during the long nightmare, even when I was not willing to be with people and spent most of my time crying. 

For a church that loves me and hurts AND rejoices with me. 

For an even greater passion to help kids with special needs, since I was forced back into that world again. 

For modern technology and the engineers who developed the Esteem. 

For Dr. Shohet. What can I say? He's amazing. I couldn't ask for a more skilled or more caring doctor. He constantly goes above and beyond, making me feel like he cares about me, not just my hearing. I know I can trust him because he makes it clear that he really does care and wants the best for me. He didn't give up on me when things looked bleak and I was an incredibly difficult patient. 

For Megan, my first Esteem audiologist who has continued to be supportive and a friend even though I'm not her patient anymore. 

For MaryKay, who moved heaven and earth to schedule appointments and surgeries, calmed me down when I was anxious and navigated insurance paperwork for me. 

For Sam, my current audiologist who is my friend first. The first time I met her was on a day when I was really insane and scary. She acted like she didn't care and has continued to be so loving and kind and very real. I love that! I don't hate going for hearing tests because I get to visit with her. That says a lot. :)

For Julie, the CEO of Envoy. She is warm, personable and truly cares about Esteem patients. One of the few bright spots in my time with only one ear was the day I met her. She greeted me with a long hug. I'll never forget that! 

For Amy, an Esteem counselor who is also dually implanted. Right after my right Esteem was removed, she called. As soon as I answered, said, "Is it as bad as I think?" I SO appreciated her candid nature and ability to empathize. She never told me it wasn't too bad or that it would be over soon. She understood how hard it was and supported me. I'm so grateful. 

For my friends who live far away. For a good portion of this year, I could only communicate in writing. I am eternally grateful for my friends who were just a text or email away. They kept me encouraged even I was so lonely. 

For my Esteem friends. We have a very unique bond. It's wonderful to talk to other people who "get it." Ashton, Melissa, Ryan, Marcia, Claudia, Pam, Terry....there are lots of us out there who support each other. Check out this link to see how the Esteem has changed our lives: https://www.facebook.com/InvisibleHearing/timeline/story?ut=43&wstart=0&wend=1417420799&hash=6889299929134462896&pagefilter=3

For opportunities to share my story. This has been an AMAZING journey! It's not all sunshine and roses, of course, but it has completely changed my life. I LOVE opportunities to share my story at Envoy events, through the internet or talking to prospective patients. Being part of someone else's journey is rewarding and exciting!

Most of all, I am thankful to serve the God who heals. I am so undeserving of such a gift...but He has given it to me anyway. Blessed be the name of The Lord!