I've tried to be optimistic despite all the difficulties this time around, but right now, I'm just going to be honest. Tomorrow is 8 weeks since surgery. The 8 week mark is the "absolute latest" healing takes place, but my ear is still not healed at all. I had to cancel another activation appointment today and don't know when my ear will be healed enough to activate. And I'm frustrated. It's not because things aren't happening like unplanned or the other one healed so quickly (like everyone seems to think). It's because I'm exhausted and stressed out and lonely. I go to work and struggle all day. I can't understand my students and, as wonderful as my coworkers are, I'm completely isolated because it's so frustrating to not be able to hear anyone. Then I come home to an empty house every night. Keys not forget the miserable failures my last several dates have been...that doesn't help the loneliness. On top of that, I'm furious with myself for feeling like this. I KNOW that God works everything for good and that this will all be worth it. It's stupid to be so frustrated. I get that, really. I'm trying so so hard to stay positive...but tonight, it's not working.
Praying for you!!
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